I just got a similar message on my voicemail. I figured I was probably going to get hit up for a donation to help save Republican congressional seats, but I just had to return the call, if for no other reason than to get that award so I could have a good laugh over it with all my other bleeding heart liberal friends. Kathy, the woman who called me, was not available, but the woman who answered the phone said she would be happy to help me with getting my award. She asked me to listen to a recorded message from Representative Cole, and told me she would then answer any questions I may have. I am sure Mr. Cole would have wanted to talk to me personally, but he was probably doing other very important congressional things. Anyway, I listened to the message and learned that, among other nasty offenses, Nancy Pelosi thinks I am rich and that I don't pay my fair share of taxes. Apparently, that woman is out to destroy the very fabric of our democracy... or at least to raise the minimum wage from shameful to merely pathetic.

When the message was over, I was told that Mr. Cole wanted me to "represent Florida" on a business advistory committee, and asked if I would be willing. I told her that I would not, and that I thought it was funniest thing in the world that they would ask me, as I am the last person that any Republican committee would want to have giving them advice. She asked, "You aren't a Republican?" and when I said that I was not, she seemed truly surprised. I wondered if that was because I was somehow placed on a list of Republicans, or if they had assumed that business owners would naturally be Republicans. I forgot to ask her, and this still puzzles me.

When I told her I was not a Republican, she apologized. I told her there was no need to apologize, as I was glad not to be a Republican.

Before I had a chance to hang up, she quickly rattled off a disclaimer about not representing any particular member of Congress (your mileage may vary; offer not valid in Connecticut; the opinions expressed here do not represent the views of the management, etc).

I think I will call back to see if I can still get that award. I would be the envy of all my friends.

I just called back to see what they really wanted. The guy that answered the phone gave me the same sales pitch, word for word, that the first one did. I listened to the recorded message again, but this time I agreed to be on the advisory committee and asked what I needed to do. Sure enough, they hit me up for $500 to "sponsor" a full-page ad in the Wall Street Journal attacking Democrats in Congress. When I balked at the $500 donation, he starting ad-libbing and asked if he could put me down for a smaller donation. He told me how the Democrats were going after business owners like me, and wanted to repeal Bush's tax cuts and raise taxes on people making $500,000 or more. Business owner's like me??? $500,000??? I told him that I wish I made enough for the Democrats to raise my taxes!

I should have told him to just wait until Rupert Murdoch gets hold of the Journal, because then ads like that will probably be free.